redone

Follow your streets
Dips and turns

Mark me
Make me
I am a map

Can you not see?
This book you've written
is our eternal trap

Your touch cuts me
like a blade
stab me in the back
Watch my scars fade

As your cow of a cover
will soon lie limp in the grasses
like the yearning call
of the helpless lover

we never played chess

love is a curious thing. In all its forms. The slight intrigue in that mystery character, the highschool crush, the lover, the soulmate, and so on, and so on. I wonder what's the point anymore? Of letting myself feel such silly things only to be burned over and over again. Myabe it has to do with the way I present myself. I must be the problem, because I definitely don't have the answer. What's the point of giving in, letting go, growing up, growing numb? I just have too much circulating through my head right now. All the time in fact. I keep letting people in, ever so slightly, just to have them stomp all over me. And why do I even bother anymore? WHAT IS THE point? i've been throwing pearls to swine when i know that all they do is roll around in their own filth. The only thing I feel that I can get out of this nonstop bullshit lately is how im responding to it. Am i setting myself up for repeat? Or doing things to change the kind of crappy people i keep meeting? Because I thought I was doing just that. Guarding my heart and judging carefully. Nothing though, no amount of protection, self confidence, suspicion, or happiness can take away the sting of losing in this battlefield of love.

We never played chess, we watched Vanilla Sky and got tangled up in each others arms. I dont think he even had a chess set.

Im torn between the two

Sometimes when I look
I see your struggles
I see your pain
and a strong man
just trying to get ahead of the game

Sometimes when I look
I see your success,
so much money
and a weak man
just breaking the law for his honey

Im torn between the two
Im torn between the two