boy oh

boy oh, boy oh
the look on my face when you told me,
the beat of my heart racing through my breast,
the tears you choked back,
the screams i swallowed,
when you put the gun to your head.
how could you
be so low?
you set it down
and i told you
its okay
sometimes, i want that too.
I want to hug you
boy oh boy oh
friend
confidante
advice giver
defender
inspiration
little brother.